Slaying that Mindset

Slaying that Mindset

SO ... in my last blog I described (in excruciating detail, with a super personal example as my backstory) just how important staying committed to your dream is (in order to make it come true). And that's no matter what sort of dream: big or small, short-term or long-term, related to your career or your marriage. Anything. 

But what I didn't totally go into detail about is the thing that's behind your ability to even dream that crazy dream in the first place. This 'thing' is behind your ability to dream, to believe in your dream, to commit to it, to re-commit to it when things get tough, and to allow it in/enjoy it once it's finally here!

This 'thing' is MINDSET. 

In a nutshell: Mindset is about your ability to work through any fear/insecurity/challenge that pops up on the path to your dream. And while your mindset doesn't need to be perfect (no such thing, remember), it does need to be strong enough to never be knocked OUT COLD. It can be knocked down. Again and again and again and again. What's that saying? Fall seven times, stand up eight! Because as they say, it isn't the actual challenges themselves that will really stop you from reaching your goal/making your dream come true. It's your mindset, and what you do with those challenges (whether you move past them, or just throw in the towel). 

Now, I want to mention here: the challenges themselves are REAL as all get out. There's no denying them. If you're trying to start a business for example, and are barely making ends meet financially as it is. That's real. But right here, you are faced with a choice. To believe that despite not having extra financial resources, there MUST be a way you can get this started. Or you can believe that there is not a way, that without extra funds - there is nothing you can do. Now the truth is there may be very little you can do at first. But if before truly digging into your options, before taking your first baby steps, you decide it's impossible? Well..... whooops there it is! 

I know a fellow boutique owner who started her business with a pre-sale. She had no products on hand, and no extra money to invest into getting any (just yet). So, rather than just not even bothering to try, she ran a pre-sale (I'm guessing on Facebook, but I don't know all the details). Ladies ordered/paid for their items, the boutique owner then bought said items and mailed them to her customers. She did this several times. Then she was able to put all the profit she had earned back into her business, by purchasing inventory, etc. etc.. And on and on and on. If I remember correctly, she has an actual brick and mortar now (a storefront).

Now I, personally, started my business by begging my boyfriend's brother for a $2500 small-business loan. Maybe beg is a strong word, but I definitely had to convince him a bit, because he didn't/still doesn't believe in me or this business. But he doesn't have to, I DO (and besides, I paid him back in full so he can shove it 😂😂😂). The point is, early on in starting this business (like before I even launched), I hit this wall where I was like 'Holy moly, this is all costing so much more than I thought. I have a little extra money each month, but not nearly enough. How am I going to make this happen????' I could have stopped right there but I was committed, and my mindset was more than strong enough to move past this particular obstacle. 

BUT don't get me wrong. While my mindset was strong enough to move past this financial obstacle with little difficulty, there have been plenty of other obstacles so far that have been far far (FAR) harder for me to get through. And the hardest part is never about the physical problem itself. It's about what I believe about the physical problem itself, and quite frankly, what I believe about MYSELF and what I am capable of.

So - this is the clean version of what mindset is all about. But let me tell you something. Mindset is not always clean and pretty and straight-forward. It's messy, difficult, painful, sometimes wretched (ewww, one of the words I hate)! That's why there are even coaches (lots of them, in fact) out there that focus only on helping their clients with their mindsets. It's that difficult of an issue, and it's that important to your success. Not that I've hired a mindset coach myself, but I've certainly listened to several free webinars! 😂😂😂

Mindset 'work' involves (for many of us) digging deeeep into our current psychological issues and inner-wounds/traumas. Because you know the way your mom always used to tell you that you were lazy? Well part of you started to believe it (and that part of you still believes it today). And when your ex cheated on you, and made you feel worthless? Well part of you still feels worthless because of it now, even years later. And when the people that were supposed to take care of you, neglected you, abused you or just weren't around? Well you learned not to trust in others and, even worse, not to trust in yourself. We all learn different things from our traumas (some can learn different things from the same traumas). BUT the point is, our fears and insecurities may feel like they are coming out of nowhere. But they aren't. They are coming from deeeeeeeeeeeeep down inside. And while it may be like utterly, devastatingly difficult and painful to sort through (I'm talking hours of ugly crying, pits in the middle of your stomach, days where you question everything), there is hope on the other side. 

I would NEVER want to force anyone to face their inner demons, because I know how hard it was/is for me, and I know that while I've got a terribly terribly dysfunctional family, there are so much worse things that could have happened to me too. I can't even imagine trying to sort through anything worse than what I've been through. But THIS is why they say that the most massive characters are those seared with scars. If we are able to break through from these things that hold us back, if we are able to UNLEARN all that our traumas have taught us, to let go of the fears that they have instilled in us??? This is where the magic happens. 

And no, it's not that MINDSET is magic. It does not, on it's own, fix any problems. But it can sure as hell stop you from solving them. Even permanently if you let them. And a strong, positive mindset can give you the courage and confidence to think outside the box, to believe things that seem improbable and find solutions that you wouldn't have stumbled upon otherwise. 

As always, I'm only a message away ladies. I really am here for you (for more than just cute clothing!). I want your wildest, craziest dreams to come true. And I want you to know you are bigger than the fears that stop you!

- Angela


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